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T4: Shipwrecked Survival Guide
Transcript:
Man: Hello? Is anybody there? Where am I? Ah, so hot… Somebody! Anybody!!! If only I wasn’t alone on this infernal island. Hang on… is that… oh, thank T4! I’m saved!
Nga: Are you alright?
Man: Er, I’ve been shipwrecked, I’ve been shipwrecked and I’m alone, and I’m hungry and I’m thirsty and I don’t know what to do.
Nga : Th is is your lucky day. I happen to be a survival expert.
Man: Oh, fantastic! Yeah, I’m actually, er, pretty peckish if you could sort me out with some grub.
Nga : OK , let’s go and feed you with something.
Man: Thanks. Nice, er, leaves, by the way!
SURVIVAL GUIDE: HOW TO FIND A SNACK
Man: So, I feel like a little bit of protein. I was thinking maybe we could catch some fish or something.
Nga: I have the easiest fish to catch. It’s just around here.
Man: A fish?
Nga: Yeah.
Man: Where?
Nga: Right here.
Man: Snails!
Nga: Yeah. So, what we’re going to do is we crack it open. You got a couple?
Man: Yeah, yeah, yeah… These look particularly delicious…
Nga: Just crack it open, like that. Don’t crush it too much, or else you lose food, right? There you go! Look at that.
Man: Oh, it’s sort of, just like, pus!
Nga: Yeah.
Man: There you go. Ha! Look at him! Still alive, this guy. Just about to pop this, er, in my mouth. I’m going to, erm, eat this, this thing. There’s a lot of shell. A lot of shell there.
Nga: How does it taste?
Man: Really… awful. Let’s get out of here. I don’t want to eat any more. But thank you.
Nga: Don’t worry.
SURVIVAL GUIDE: ISLAND DANGERS
Man: So Nga, this seems like a pretty inhospitable island. What do I need to worry about in terms of creatures that might attack me or harm me?
Nga: Right in here, inside the inland, you know, there’s centipedes. You know, it’s about that long.
Man: Do they, do they bite?
Nga: Of course they bite!
Man: What about in the sea, ‘cause that can’t be too bad. It looks so beautiful out there.
Nga: It looks beautiful but there’s some dangerous species in there. It’s called stonefish. And you step on it, for your size, you’ll probably die.
Man: What? Death, just because of my size? That’s like discrimination!
SURVIVAL GUIDE: HOW TO SHIMMY UP A COCONUT TREE
Man: Anyone who’s hanging out on a desert island needs to know how to climb a palm tree, you know. So, maybe you could show me that.
Nga: OK, no worries. So, put one foot there, left and right. And this is how the position is going to be – like that. OK? And that really will hold you. You won’t slip. Give it a go, mate.
Man: There, there… Got it, I got it!
Nga: Yep!
Man: OK! Now we’re motoring! OK, that’s as far… I think that’s as far as I can go. How do I… how do I get down? Nga? Nga! Nga…?
SURVIVAL GUIDE: HOW TO GO TO THE TOILET
Man: So Nga, I need the loo. I’m pretty, I’m pretty desperate. So how do I… I mean, do I need to dig a hole?
Nga: What you have to do is actually, er, … you know, as long as the hole is actually past your ankles, that should be alright.
Man: When I’ve finished, what do I use for…?
Nga: OK, you use a hibiscus here, right here.
Man: Oh lovely!
Nga: There you go.
Man: Oh, it looks a bit rough.
Nga: This one is, kind of, you know, slippery.
Man : Oh , it just spreads it around?
Nga: That’s right.
Man: That’s disgusting!
Nga: So, yeah. That’s right.
Man: Dude, to be honest, I actually, I need to go. So maybe if you could, er, give me a little bit of privacy, ‘cause I’m going to…
Nga: OK, I’ll leave you alone.
Man: Thanks, man, thanks. Sorry, er, maybe you can go as well? ‘Cause I’m going to…
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